I really want to know. I am so curious to hear other people's beliefs, and it fascinates me to learn about their lives and things they have experienced and been taught. What fascinates me even more, is how some people who are exposed to the same things believe different things. Why in the world does that happen? Why did I hear the story of Jesus and find it easy to believe when other people who have had much more exposure to the story don't believe? Why is that?
I wish I knew the answer to that question. When I first became a Christian, there were a lot of things that came along with it that were somewhat difficult for me. I remember asking a lot of questions and doubting a lot of things. I remember a Christian friend telling me something that I thought must be absolutely untrue, but then I asked another friend and they confirmed it, and then another one, and so on. It took a LOT of questions and wrestling with my inner self and fighting the conditioning I had as a child to believe certain things about life. The curiosity is what really helped me- I wanted to know things, and not just the "what's", but also the "why's".
But the biggest reason I believe the things that I do is because of the proof life has given me. I perceive the things I've learned to be true because it feels right in my heart, because when I read the Bible and do what it says, my life becomes better, not only in obvious ways but also in some very unexpected ways. I believe the things I've learned to be true because I know that I am not the biggest deal out there. How disappointing would that be? No, there is an awesome, loving, graceful, forgiving and perfect God, and I know full well that he is mine and I am his.
And this is what I learned:
There is a God. He is perfect. He created me. I am not perfect. In fact, there is something very wrong with me. I don't always know exactly what it is, but I've had some really rough times in my life. I've had a lot of heartbreak, a lot of laziness, I've done bad things and said bad things. Sometimes I feel really sad, or mad, or regretful. Especially regretful. And I am a generally happy person and live a generally happy life. So if all these bad things happen to me, I am sure they've happened to you, too.
So, where does God come in?
I'm sure you've heard the story of Jesus- born of a virgin, put in a manger, grew up into a man who loved everyone and died on a cross to save us from our sins. Check.
Has anyone ever told you what that means?
Has anyone ever told you that God is a passionate God that wants a relationship with you?
Do you know that at this very moment God is pursuing your heart with more love and zeal than any man (or woman) ever would or could?
Has anyone ever told you that Jesus was not just a man who lived on earth, but God who lived on earth?
Has anyone every told you that Jesus IS God?
Do you know what that means?
Do you know that you are free of all the brokeness in your life and the bad things you've done because Jesus paid the price for you?
Has anyone ever told you that you don't have to fight anymore, that the battle was never even yours to begin with?
It is true, it is a free gift from God. You don't have to earn it. All you have to do is believe that it is true.
Believe that the life Jesus lived had purpose, that he came here to die, for you. Yes, you personally. His death on the cross serves as payment for your sins. In God's eyes, where you should be marked black with sin is washed away completely by Jesus. "She's good." he says. "This one's with me, I've got her covered."
This is the instruction I received: Ask Jesus to come into your heart. Even if you don't believe it right now. Even if you don't know what it means completely. Jesus will not come into your life without your willingness to be open to the idea. He does not pry. You must invite him.
Now it is one thing to hear the stories, but reading them in the Bible brings a whole new understanding. If you want to understand fully, you MUST read the Bible. Even if you don't want to. Even if you don't agree with what it says. Even if you question a lot of things. Even if it seems contradictory. Even if you doubt it's truth. You must read it regardless, with an open mind, because that it how you learn. That is how I learned. And you know what?
Life is beautiful, and I'm free to enjoy it!
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