I Love Eating Waffles for Dinner.

To add to that, I've just had an awesome day all around.

The salon was pretty busy, which is nice because 1) it makes up for the slow days, 2) I'm making money,  3) I'm building clientele, and 4) I'm honing my skills and making a difference in people's lives. On busy days I come away so encouraged because I see how what I can do affects my clients. I have so much freedom with the services I can provide, and my boss is a wonderful, talented Christian woman. I am SO blessed.

On top of the awesome day at the salon, I feel the most encouraging part of today was lunch with Dave. We met with our pastor (who will be marrying us) and had a really good conversation and hashed a lot of stuff out, including some aspects of Dave and I not having sex before marriage. I'm sorry if the word "sex" took you off guard, there really is no way to segue into it. I know it can be an awkward and taboo thing to talk about, but abstaining from sex before marriage is something I am passionate about and believe in and think is extremely important to talk about because it can change someone's life (or the course of their life). Nobody talked to me about waiting for marriage, and I obviously didn't. While my child is a blessing beyond belief, I endured much pain and heartache that came with the "single mom" label that could have possibly been avoided (again- NOT regretting my son in any way! God had a perfect plan for me :) All this, not to mention that statistically and from what I hear from friends who have waited, it builds trust in the relationship and just all around makes it better in the end. But I suppose I will be better equipped to explain that from experience in a couple month's time...

So back to our talk during lunch, our pastor recommended that we might try not even kissing from now until the wedding. I don't mean little hello and goodbye smooches, but kissing. You know.  :)  Before you think "WHAT?!" let me tell you... I think it would be much much much easier to avoid crossing holy boundaries and taking it too far if you're not making out for an hour. It will alleviate the stress of wondering if you're going to make out tonight, how far it's going to go, if the other person is on the same page, feeling disappointed if they're not, or vice versa and disappointing the other person. Plus, it makes it easier to keep your hands off each other, simply put. And when you are madly in love and about to get married and trying to stay pure in the meantime- that's a good thing. Since the wedding is getting so close now and there is still so much to do, I think we will be able to keep ourselves busy anyway. Our pastor also said he knows other couples who have done that and loved how fresh everything was at the wedding and during the honeymoon. I think the excitement of having such a fresh and new honeymoon sounds like more than a good enough reason to endure the wait beforehand. As Dave puts it, having sex before you're married would be like opening a Christmas present on December 1st- you will still have it on December 25th, but you won't having anything new to open, and the excitement is dramatically dulled.

Waiting has been difficult beyond belief, but it was definitely the hardest when Dave and I reached the point in our relationship where we were really falling in love and getting comfortable with each other and knew we wanted to marry each other, but were nowhere close to even getting engaged. THAT was definitely the hardest point. Our relationship now is definitely a grown and matured version of what it was at that point, but we are used to it being this way. This is how we function as an in-love engaged couple, and changing that by having sex before we are married would in many ways change who we are as a couple, and we are not ready for that until we are in a committed marriage and living together and totally relying on each other. Besides, we have made it this far it would be a crying shame to give in now, this close to the wedding.

So those are my thoughts for today... and on a toally unrelated note, why doesn't McDonald's serve hot dogs? Not that I would eat them anyway, just wondering.

Lindsay

Life, Death, and Everything in Between.

Today has been sort of emotionally draining for me.

At work I received the shocking news that my son's father's Uncle Wayne, who was basically my uncle for five years, passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack. I had to keep it together at work, but gave myself about 10 minutes in the bathroom to have a good cry, but the rest of the day I just didn't feel right. I have such a heavy heart. He was such a great man.

On the flip side, I also found out that some friends of Dave and I's from church are expecting a baby! Such wonderful news! I cannot think of two better people who are better equipped spiritually and responsibly to bring a baby into this world.

Right now I am feeling mixed feelings of sadness about Wayne's death and joy of our friend's news. One life passed, another to come. That's a lot to wrap my brain around in one day... *sigh*...

So far, Wayne's death is the closest to home I've experienced in this life- and for that, I am beyond blessed and cannot express my gratitude for the health and safety of my closest loved ones thus far. But it does shake my fears up a bit, and all day I've just been reminded of how fragile and precious life is, and how quickly it can be taken away. Today I was totally blindsided, as was his entire family. It is a reminder to savor life every day. The most comforting thing today during all this was knowing God was near. I felt him, his love and presence, surrounding me.

Psalm 34:18   The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

**********************************************************************************

I also read something today that encouraged me as a mother. If you have never heard of Proverbs 31 Ministries, I invite you to check them out here. This is an awesome website for women and mothers who desire to live for God and uphold the idea of a Proverbs 31 woman. If you are not familiar with the Bible or with this passage, here it is:

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

 ¹⁰ A wife of noble character who can find? 

   She is worth far more than rubies. 

¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her 

   and lacks nothing of value. 

¹² She brings him good, not harm, 

   all the days of her life. 

¹³ She selects wool and flax 

   and works with eager hands. 

¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships, 

   bringing her food from afar. 

¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night; 

   she provides food for her family 

   and portions for her female servants. 

¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it; 

   out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 

¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously; 

   her arms are strong for her tasks. 

¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable, 

   and her lamp does not go out at night. 

¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff 

   and grasps the spindle with her fingers. 

²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor 

   and extends her hands to the needy. 

²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household; 

   for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 

²² She makes coverings for her bed; 

   she is clothed in fine linen and purple. 

²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate, 

   where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 

²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them, 

   and supplies the merchants with sashes. 

²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity; 

   she can laugh at the days to come. 

²⁶ She speaks with wisdom, 

   and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 

²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household 

   and does not eat the bread of idleness. 

²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed; 

   her husband also, and he praises her: 

²⁹ “Many women do noble things, 

   but you surpass them all.” 

³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; 

   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 

³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done, 

   and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

So this passage is the foundation for the Proverbs 31 ministry. Today, a woman posted a devotional to this site that was really inspiring to me as a mother, and helped shift my focus when it comes to mothering Zach. It is based off Proverbs 22:6, which says:

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

Here is her devotional:

__________________________________________________

My daughter, Hope, is a senior this year. And she decided her senior year should be adventurous and a little out of the “normal” box. A lot out of the box actually.

She withdrew from traditional school. Applied with the state to homeschool. Enrolled in online college courses that would allow her to get both high school and college credit simultaneously. And planned to spend the month of January serving in Nicaragua doing missions.

This didn’t surprise me really. Hope has always liked charting her own course. This thrills me now. But it didn’t thrill me so much in the early years of raising this strong-spirited child.

When she was really little I was scared to death I was the world’s worst mom, because Hope was never one to be contained. And I honestly thought all her extra tenacity was a sign of my poor mothering.

One day I took her to the mall to meet several of my friends with toddlers to grab lunch. All of their kids sat quietly eating cheerios in their strollers. They shined their halos and quoted Bible verses and used tissues to wipe their notes.

Not Hope.

She was infuriated by my insistence she stay in her stroller. So, when I turned away for a split second to place our lunch order, she wiggled free. She stripped off all her clothes. She ran across the food court. And jumped in the fountain in the center of the mall.

Really, nothing makes the mother of a toddler feel more incapable than seeing her naked child splashing in the mall fountain. Except maybe that toddler refusing to get out and said mother having to also get into the fountain.

I cried all the way home.

Not because of what she’d done that day. But rather because of how she was everyday. So determined. So independent. So insistent.

I would beg God to show me how to raise a good child. One that stayed in her stroller. One that other people would comment about how wonderfully behaved she was. One that made me look good.

But God seemed so slow to answer those prayers. So, over the years, I changed my prayer. “God help me to raise Hope to be who You want her to be.” Emphasis on, “God HELP ME!”

I think I changed my prayers for her because God started to change my heart. I sensed He had a different plan in mind for my mothering of Hope.

Maybe God’s goal wasn’t for me to raise a good rule-following child. God’s goal was for me to raise a God-following adult. An adult just determined and independent and insistent enough to fulfill a purpose He had in mind all along.

Today’s key verse reminds us we are training children so that when they are old they will not turn away from Biblical principles, but rather implement them in their life-long pursuit of God. Remember, the things that might aggravate you about your child today, might be the very things when matured that make them great for God’s kingdom tomorrow.

I’ve certainly seen this in raising Hope.

I don’t know what mama needs to hear this today. But let me encourage you from the bottom of my heart with three simple mothering perspectives you must hang on to:

1. Don’t take too much credit for their good.

2. Don’t take too much credit for their bad.

3. Don’t try to raise a good child. Raise a God-following adult.

And all the mamas of fountain dancing children said, “Amen!”

Dear Lord, I know You desire for me to raise a God-following adult. Please give me Your wisdom as I seek to become the parent You called to this high honor. Redirect my perspectives and equip me for this task today. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

_______________________________________________ 

This devotional makes me think about Zachary in a totally different way- not as the child he is, but as the man he will become, and how I can foster that for God, and for good. I see very independent tendencies, curiosity, stubborness, tenderness, sensitivity, and strength in my boy. I can also see how, as a parent, I "need" him to behave or act mildly so in an attempt to make him "behave" I could be stifling a God-given gift of his that will enable him to be the adult God has called him to be. So tonight, I am thankful for all the ways that Zachary is different, for all the things I think need to be corrected that really might not, and for God's grace which makes up for the areas that I lack as a mother. I cannot wait to start pouring even more purposefully into Zachary's heart affirmations of respect, honor, trust, and encouragement.  Thank you God for blessing me with such a beautiful boy.

Until next time,

Lindsay