The Last Season.

Today Dave and I had our second session of premarital counseling, and I have to say it went amazing! We are pretty good communicators when it comes to the gritty stuff of relationships, but even the preventative exercises our counselor had us do revealed potential future conflict if left unchecked. I tell you, premarriage counseling is a great way to safeguard marriage as best as possible, not only by hashing out any problems that might exist (before they have a chance to become toxic), but also to prevent destructive patterns and habits that haven't even necessarily been created yet. I am simply amazed at how powerful and encouraging these sessions are!

On the Valentines Day account, my love showed up with a dozen beautiful red roses and chocolates, then took me to Olive Garden! I absolutely love Italian food and the lighting and wine were perfect, and my love had his eyes on me all night. Afterward we went to Target to register for our wedding (and do all the scanning which was t-o-n-s  o-f  f-u-n!) He kissed me goodnight after our wonderful date, and once again left me feeling like the luckiest girl alive.

In this season right before the wedding, I'm finding myself anticipating the coming changes that will come not only in our physical lives, but also in our hearts as we take this next step. We've grown so much as a couple, starting at the newness and somewhat shy (on my side) phase and growing into this deep and wonderful love. We have grown so comfortable with each other and the way that our relationship is, and our marriage is going to radically change that. We will be living together and sleeping together (and um... sleeping together...), and things are going to be, well, different. In a good way of course! I suppose in these last couple months I am trying to relish this season we are in while it lasts, I want to remember what our relationship is like and how we are with each other before we live together and before we have sex. I want to remember these innocent times, because they are so precious. These times have been some of the hardest, trying times for me. It is hard to stay pure physically when you are madly in love with someone- more difficult than I could ever describe! It is hard to put Zachary to bed some nights by myself, and to get him ready in the morning by myself. It was difficult for me to adjust to sleeping alone every night, and it still is a struggle sometimes.

But through all this I have learned and am still learning so much about myself, and who I am as a woman. Dave being such a man of honor by staying pure and keeping me pure throughout our relationship has allowed me the freedom to experience a deeper relationship with God, and myself. His love is so unselfish. In this season, I want to remember all of that. I want to remember in hindsight two, five, and 10+ years from now how difficult it was when he had to leave me every single night. How some nights we had to keep our distance physically because we would be flirting with danger otherwise. I want to remember how we had to have to discipline and self control to stay true to our promises even though it was so extremely difficult. I want to remember him dancing with me in the kitchen, wrapping his arms around me when I'm cooking, twirling me under his arm like I'm a princess, and the letters... ohh the letters! I want to remember the way he looks at me now, in this season. I want to remember the feeling of longing I feel every night when I watch him step off my porch, onto the sidewalk and into his car to drive away. I want to remember all of this, because this is what is setting the tone for our marriage. This is our time of testing. This is our time of purity. This is still, in a way, our season of newness, and of longing. These memories are so precious, and I don't ever want to forget them, because in less than three months...

all this is going to change. 

(Don't worry- I'm more than ready!) Here is a picture of my love and I tonight!

Happy Valentines Day!