I love taking care of my children and tidying up my pretty home and cooking meals in my nice kitchen. I love driving my van around and getting coffee whenever I want. I love decorating and crafting. I am so blessed.
One can say, however, that while amazing, the life of a stay at home mom is not a glamorous one. Many days I don't even leave the house or do my hair or even look in the mirror. A lot of the time I have food of some sort on me somewhere and my hands are dry and scaly from washing them so many times after changing diapers. But for someone like me, this life is a dream come true.
That being said, there are some side effects that crop up from the inevitable isolation that all stay at home moms experience at some point. I am a very extroverted and social person, and I crave community and inspiration. Something that I struggle with is not having good boundaries with social media. I'm definitely not one of those crazy people who are ALWAYS on, but I do hop on often throughout the day to get my fix. I love Pinterest, Instagram and Facebook. They are the perfect combo because I get to dream about house projects and recipes, see beautiful pictures and see what everyone is up to. It's the perfect concoction to pacify or at least dull the intensity of my need to be with people or be creative. Which, when asked why I don't just simply do those things, I reply with, "ain't nobody got time for that!" ;)
What this all boils down to is when I don't set healthy boundaries with social media, I enter "dream mode". This is where my brain goes when it is tapped out and whirling with Inspiration Overload. Yea, that's totally a thing. I tend to forget that spending the last twenty minutes of Julian's nap skimming social media is not equal to spending twenty minutes reading a book or even watching a movie. Because once I set my device down and go to get my son from his crib, if I have been on social media of any sort, chances are it is still on my mind. If by chance I am not feeling the need to get back on, I am at least thinking about it and (if I was on pinterest) dreaming up house projects or something of the like. I just start dreaming. I will dream about certain decor projects, I will dream about this blog, I will dream about new recipes I want to try, I will dream about how I want to do my hair for my next date. I might see a picture on Instagram of a friend who is enjoying herself at her job which then reminds me of how much I loved having a "job" so then I start dreaming of how I could make my career as a homemaker more like a job. Which is just, no. NO.
The thing about social media, for me, is it is just filled with so many ideas for everything. And I'm an ideas girl. I love thinking and growing and achieving. I just cannot get enough of it. Fortunately I also love relaxing, so there is always a ceiling at some point. :) But recently, as I was sitting and musing over all the projects I want to do for the house, I was met with conviction by none other than J.K. Rowling when this little gem of a line popped into my head:
Dumbledore: "It does not do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to live."
I realized in that moment that I needed to set some boundaries with social media, because I. Am. A. Dreamer. Big time. I get excited when my head is filled with ideas because I believe in myself and I know I can make them happen! But when this is excitement is coupled with Inspiration Overload (from social media) and fueled by unmet social and creative needs, I not only tend to burn out quicker but just forget to be present, forget to "live". Which is pretty much the complete opposite of what I dream of (ha-ha) for my life at home, which is to live more simply and engaged.
This is all something I have known for a long time but have never really put into words before. That's why I love this blog so much, because when I decided I was going to write about this I forced myself to think hard about it all. I've told myself before that I was going to slow down with social media, thus slow down the in-flow of ideas, but never really had a plan. Plus you have to admit, when you're not at least on facebook you tend to miss a LOT, including invitations to parties and important emails from people who don't have your real email. But I do want to change, so I've decided here and now that I am going to. Who knows, maybe exchanging "likes" and hashtags for phone calls, letters and visits will earn me some radical points in this crazy culture we are living in. Sounds kind of adventurous. I like that.