Paying Off Debt: A Great Story

Happy December, Friends!

Tonight I want to share with you an exciting season that Dave and I are entering into. We have made the decision to radically pay off our student loans, literally as fast as we can. We are using Dave Ramsey's debt snowball, and since student loans are the only debt we have (besides our house, of course) we hope this will be a shorter, rather than longer, season.

It all started a couple months ago when Dave and I had a deep discussion about tithing and giving. We really want to give more without worrying about being so tight through the month, and we want to get to a place where we don't have to be such sticklers about things like our grocery budget. Don't get me wrong, I know things like that will fluctuate some each time, but if we aren't careful we can easily break our budget just on groceries. What it all boils down to is we want to glorify God with our finances, and it is difficult to do that when we are paying SO MUCH to student loans every month.

So after that discussion, we had a day where we were feeling a little down about our finances. We were thinking negative thoughts, like how we can only afford to pay the minimum balance on our loans and how there really isn't anything extra we can cut out of our budget. Then on the second day, we had en epiphany. We decided that we were not going to be victims, that our debt is temporary, and how temporary it is going to be is really up to us.

So we looked at our finances again. We saw things that we didn't see before and thought of more radical ideas that, when you think about them, aren't too radical after all.

"Do we really need two cars?"

"How much money could we save by dropping down to one car?" <~~~ a lot, actually, when you include the car payment, cost of insurance and extra gas.

"Do we NEED our smartphones? How much money could we save by downgrading back to our old 'dumb phones'?"

"Could we shave anything off our grocery budget? even just $10 a week?"

"Where can we pull in some extra income on the side?"

"What would it look like to stop using debit cards and start paying cash for everything?"

Once we started asking ourselves these questions and just entertaining these ideas, we actually got excited as we looked at the numbers and realized how much extra money we could channel into our loans. We were under no impression that it would be easy our fun, but we reminded ourselves that the luxury of having all these "things" and conveniences was costing us exponentially more than we were paying for them when you consider how much they were stunting our ability to pay off our loans.

I will never forget the day we deactivated our smart phones and reactivated our battered old dumb phones we pulled out of storage. I had wanted an iphone for so long and I had just gotten mine a couple months prior. I know it is a material matter but I won't lie and say I didn't feel that sting a little. But I also had peace knowing that we were doing the right thing. What stood out to me most about that day is when Dave looked at me and said, "This might just be one of the greatest stories of our marriage." Funny how that happens during the more trying seasons.  ;)

Now here is the real kicker. About a week after we made this decision, we no longer had smart phones and Dave had put his car up for sale. I had told my dad about our plan, and he thought it was a great idea and was very proud of us. He thought it was a little radical to only have one car with the boys, but I assured him that we would be fine. So many families have done it and still do it every day, how would we be any different? So a week later, Dad came over for a visit, and informed us out of the blue that he wanted to BUY US A VEHICLE, plus pay the insurance for a year. That way we would have two paid for vehicles and no extra insurance cost. Wow! What a blessing! We saw it as almost immediate affirmation that we are doing the right thing.

So we are now the proud owners of a new-to-us 2007 Town & Country Minivan. Let me tell you, I will never again make fun of minivans- they are AWESOME. So much room and the stow-and-go seats are so convenient! They boys also love having the extra space. I am so grateful, to my dad for his sacrifice and to God for his provision.

So here we are- still in the beginning of this little adventure. I am working on the whole pay-with-cash thing, it is quite different when you're used to never having cash! I am also looking for ways to make meals go farther and just little grocery saving tips and tricks. I am putting all my side money from doing hair directly into student loans (after the tithe), and Dave and I have already paid off one small loan and it felt GOOD.

I am so looking forward to the day we can say we are free from student loan debt. However, while the natural challenges of this season are inevitable, I am looking forward to  the unforseen blessings of this season, however simple, that will indeed make it one of the greatest stories of our marriage.

Cultivating Inner Beauty: One Simple Phrase

"My dear husband, how was your day at work?"

"My dear husband, would you like a glass of water?"

"My dear husband, would you mind pulling my car into the garage?"

"My dear husband, can we talk?"

"My dear husband" is a phrase I desire to be commonplace in my home. I love the thought of my children hearing me address Dave this way so often that it becomes expected. I want my husband to feel the love I have for him through the way I speak to him, no matter how simple. And of course I endeavor to speak these words gently and graciously.

I want my husband to be captivated by my inner beauty, my holy beauty. Sometimes I spend too much thought on how my hair looks, what jewelry to buy and wear and how I should dress to impress him. I do truly think those things are important to some degree, but should not take precedence in my mind over the inner things that make me truly beautiful not just in my husband's eyes but firstly in God's.

The overarching theme I am pondering tonight is 'cultivating inner beauty'. Using the above phrase regularly is one simple way I can be obedient to God, show my love to Dave in the little things, and is a stepping stone to taking on bigger things God has in store for my life.

Finding a New Dream

Her: "I've been looking out of a window for eighteen years, dreaming about what I might feel like when those lights rise in the sky. What if it's not everything I dreamed it would be?" 

Him: "It will be."

Her: "And what if it is? What do I do then?"

Him: "Well, that's the good part I guess. You get to go find a new dream."

Have you ever experienced your life's dream? Maybe you dream of traveling Europe, swimming in the ocean, finding love in the oddest place, buying a dream house... On May 11th of this year, my dream came true. Once I passed the age of innocence I never dreamed of marriage as a possibility for me. God has obviously changed my heart, and here I am, a very happily, and in the words of Audrey Hepburn, "very married" woman. But there is something scary about your dream coming true, because well... then what? Those of us who believe in God's eternal blessing through Jesus know we have good things awaiting us after this life... but what do we do until then? Tonight I found the inspiration I didn't even know I was looking for. I don't have to stop dreaming just because my dream came true. I get to go find a new one.

Lindsay

The Last Season.

Today Dave and I had our second session of premarital counseling, and I have to say it went amazing! We are pretty good communicators when it comes to the gritty stuff of relationships, but even the preventative exercises our counselor had us do revealed potential future conflict if left unchecked. I tell you, premarriage counseling is a great way to safeguard marriage as best as possible, not only by hashing out any problems that might exist (before they have a chance to become toxic), but also to prevent destructive patterns and habits that haven't even necessarily been created yet. I am simply amazed at how powerful and encouraging these sessions are!

On the Valentines Day account, my love showed up with a dozen beautiful red roses and chocolates, then took me to Olive Garden! I absolutely love Italian food and the lighting and wine were perfect, and my love had his eyes on me all night. Afterward we went to Target to register for our wedding (and do all the scanning which was t-o-n-s  o-f  f-u-n!) He kissed me goodnight after our wonderful date, and once again left me feeling like the luckiest girl alive.

In this season right before the wedding, I'm finding myself anticipating the coming changes that will come not only in our physical lives, but also in our hearts as we take this next step. We've grown so much as a couple, starting at the newness and somewhat shy (on my side) phase and growing into this deep and wonderful love. We have grown so comfortable with each other and the way that our relationship is, and our marriage is going to radically change that. We will be living together and sleeping together (and um... sleeping together...), and things are going to be, well, different. In a good way of course! I suppose in these last couple months I am trying to relish this season we are in while it lasts, I want to remember what our relationship is like and how we are with each other before we live together and before we have sex. I want to remember these innocent times, because they are so precious. These times have been some of the hardest, trying times for me. It is hard to stay pure physically when you are madly in love with someone- more difficult than I could ever describe! It is hard to put Zachary to bed some nights by myself, and to get him ready in the morning by myself. It was difficult for me to adjust to sleeping alone every night, and it still is a struggle sometimes.

But through all this I have learned and am still learning so much about myself, and who I am as a woman. Dave being such a man of honor by staying pure and keeping me pure throughout our relationship has allowed me the freedom to experience a deeper relationship with God, and myself. His love is so unselfish. In this season, I want to remember all of that. I want to remember in hindsight two, five, and 10+ years from now how difficult it was when he had to leave me every single night. How some nights we had to keep our distance physically because we would be flirting with danger otherwise. I want to remember how we had to have to discipline and self control to stay true to our promises even though it was so extremely difficult. I want to remember him dancing with me in the kitchen, wrapping his arms around me when I'm cooking, twirling me under his arm like I'm a princess, and the letters... ohh the letters! I want to remember the way he looks at me now, in this season. I want to remember the feeling of longing I feel every night when I watch him step off my porch, onto the sidewalk and into his car to drive away. I want to remember all of this, because this is what is setting the tone for our marriage. This is our time of testing. This is our time of purity. This is still, in a way, our season of newness, and of longing. These memories are so precious, and I don't ever want to forget them, because in less than three months...

all this is going to change. 

(Don't worry- I'm more than ready!) Here is a picture of my love and I tonight!

Happy Valentines Day!